Oldboy Remake Trailer Debuts; World Weeps

Oldboy (2013)
Red band trailer

Frustration. At least I’m not alone. No one thinks this remake was necessary. Josh Brolin is miscast (HELLO, CHRISTIAN BALE IS ALIVE AND AVAILABLE. AT LEAST DO US THAT DIGNITY). The villain’s phone voice is laughably gentle and British. The historical events shown on the T.V. are aggressively non-international, because this is THE ROOTIN-TOOTIN AMERICAN VERSION, you see? Samuel L. Jackson’s floating somewhere in the plot. This is ridiculous and horrible.

I love Elisabeth Olsen and I am, as always, delighted to see Chris Moltisanti alive and well on a screen, but this is a travesty. Should never have happened. We all know it will never hold a candle to the original, and now its pathetic legacy gets to sidle up next to one of the greatest films ever made, in America or on Earth.

If you have not seen the original Oldboy, lovingly rendered and brilliantly acted by Koreans who actually care about things, please address that gaping hole in your soul tout suite.

For shame, Spike Lee. I trusted you to Do The Right Thing.

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