Check My Flow: The Camp Gyno

THANK YOU. Thank you, whoever wrote this commercial, thank you to the channels that are airing it, thank you to this sassy little child actress (who needs to teach me a thing or two about how to scream “VAGINA”).

Tampon commercials are infamous among the worldwide cult of women, for their pathetic attempts to sanitize the period and convince ladies that IT’S NOT PAIN, IT’S OPPORTUNITY!

CRAMPS = SALAD AND COCKTAILS. PERIODS = VOLLEYBALL. UTERUS = GARDENING.

I really do not know one female who doesn’t begin to slow-simmer upon hearing the insipid “Have a happy period.” You are selling fallacies, Kotex! You do not live on this planet, Tampax Pearl!

This commercial is like the best thing to happen in the realm of menstrual advertising (I know because I have my associate’s degree in menstrual advertising). Here we have precocious tomboyish pre-teens, wailing at each other and clutching their aching abdomens. Ah, sweet reality. Also, they are admitting that candy is as essential to your cycle as a heating pad. GROUNDBREAKING.

No more infantilizing and condescension. Bless you, Camp Gyno. Bless your little crampy heart.

viva

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