My relationship with LOST was complicated. One moment I’d be at a distance, holding up my heavy textbooks of critical theory like a silver cross, putting academics between me and my TV. And then there were the other moments, the ones where no one on campus could find me because I was crouched in my homemade hatch, bingeing on seasons at a time. This paper came from the former POV. Next I’ll post a more manic (and truthful) treatise I shamefully released in the school paper.